My 50 cents on 50 Shades of Grey: I begrudgingly read the book, a runaway bestseller dubbed "mommy porn" and was not impressed. The same could be said about this film which, simply put, is a boring bondage billionaire romance. College student Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) is swept away by young, but wounded billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). The caveat? He doesn't do romance, but he does want to do a whole lot with her and the myriad of adult toys in his "red room of pain." He not only wants to dominate her physically, but control her entire life as specified via contract.
It is her reluctance to sign the contract that drives this bland drama. Interestingly, the film isn't as kinky or sexy as one might expect. It hints at it, gives you glances but never goes to extremes. Some precise editing goes a long way to accomplish this. There are copious amounts of nudity, but what this film really needed was better writing and a not-so-cardboard Dornan as our tortured lead. Johnson was funny as Anna when she needed to be, but other than that, there's no real reason to see this film — because sitting through it will be like punishment.
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