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Disaster movies leave out crucial moments that happen between all the action, like when the female characters somehow find the time to apply their looted makeup and deodorant, keep their armpits completely hair free, and match their fashionable skin-revealing clothing to their oh-so-fighting-practical high heels. You know, the basic priorities a woman has when her life is being threatened by hoards of zombies or aliens or sharknadoes or what have you.

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